SHOUT IT LOUD!!!!!

It been really long long time.. i have not blog here... i think it been long long time i didn't speak myself out and mostly because i don't have time. But since Feb this year i came back Melbourne... it had been happening a lot of things... where i just avoid them!!!!
Now, in this moment i feel damm silly and embrassed!!! arrrgggghhh... dunno how to speak it or put into a story.... but i just hate this!! Why am i so silly and get fool.... this always beeen my weakness. Being alone is the worst things in my life!!! Hate loneliness.!!! and i always come to a situation like that!!! Now i hate myself and don't trust this anymore. I just feel all these things are so fake. How come my experiences doesn't cover my emotional. I think i should learn all these self control and stuff!!!
I have not pray for a while as well, how come??? Lord, please help me... i mean please slap me and wake me up! Stop dreaming and should appreciate things you had gave me. I know this is all my fault!! how come in this world there are ppl heartless... they can lie, kill, rape and doing all those bad things. Don't they have heart or any humanities feelings at all? I really wonder wat the made from. Really can't imagine... this world are full of shit! and i believe i will be one of the shit!!!
Now, is time for me to wake up and back to my normal life. No matter how my condition will be i think i really need to learn think properly. I rather i don;t have feelings, but only rationality. But my current situation telling me i mess and i only feelings and emotional driving me crazy!!! Well, lucky i don't feel hurt... but i just feel angry, embrassed and piss of coz bein fool by ppl! Damm it! Couldn't be like this.... arrrrggghhhh.... dunno wat the hack i talking as well now!! Just hate myself that's it!!!!
HElppppppHeeelLLppp....arrrrrrgggggggghhhh....

Broken Heart!

I couldn't imagine things had come to this stage! Now only i see real face, the real poeple's face. When time and status had change people also change. I guess he already got what he wants.. so i no longer worth to exist in his life. When ppl get what he/she wants, they will just forget everything. Now i start to learn in this world there is no eternal love. Love will not be everlasting... NOT from mankind! Only GOD will give you that!!!
Thanks for things you had showed to me and things you had done. The temporary love you given let me learn a lesson. I really need to rely more on God and not human!
Lord, sorry for everything i had done. I really very long never blog here. I really need to pray to You and ask for changes. Those anger and devil had take control over me. I really out of my mind and going crazy soon! Lord, please show me Your love and let me know that this world still full of things i worth to live. Heavenly Father, your child here cying out for help! I dowan live in darkness anymore! I dowan all these fake relationship and very tired to live in this such "wave" life. I need a rest.. please comfort me and be with me. All this i surrender in Your hand! AMEN!

OUT OF CONTROL!!!

Now i start to realise there are too many things is out of our control. Actually i know this "theory", but i never though of certain things suppose determine by us, but now it turn out to n choice. This world is getting more crazy and out of control.. maybe an easy example like.. decide to 'BUY" or "SELL", will be a controlable things.. but since today inccident i realise.. NO! Yet, there are many things else not our control. Haih~~

MY CAR WAS SOLD!!!!! Without my notice!!! My cousin in Melbourne SOLD my car away without my knowledge... i really shock and sad to hear this news. Although my car is not any precious car, but full of memories and how could he just did this without i knowing it? My "Adventurous & Memories CAR" GONE!!! :~~(
ARrrrggghh... how come he sell away without letting me know? Actually, he didn't sell.. but TOW AWAY. So is very cheap way!
I also going back soon la.. why not wait for few more months? Hiah~~
The only things he left for me is my car plate "ANG 99"!!! I miss my car so much... can you please gimme back??

God comfort me and please provide me! Thank you Lord for being with me.. i know i'm stupid and silly to stress or sad over this.. but i'm much better. Thanks Heavenly Father to comfort my heart! Please be with me and provide me when i get back.. pray that it doesn't cause too much inconvenience without it. All i surrender to You Lord Jesus! AMEN!

CAN I GET OUT OF HERE??!!!

I really still thinking why am i here? Why i out myself in such situation. Or keep asking GOD WHY??? I really can't breath and going crazy soon. I though i'm ok.. but now i realise i seriously break down. Through out this year i hardly talk to someone that i can shaare my words in deep. I hardly meet frens.. should say normal day or time i don;t have.Even don't have a collogue. Only got my parents to accompany me. If they not free.. i maybe eating by myself alone!! I really feel a bit abnormal for me... as my life... a 20s years old young gal have such dull life! I really feel i going crazy soon!

I feel my life is because of my family... i got no other purpose. I mean all my concentration only in 1 side.. really driving me crazy! I really dunno how long i still can stand! i wanna leave and live freely!!! PLEASE ANYONE CAN HELP ME?? I'm seeking for help.. anyone can hear me!?? GOD can you help me?

Apologise Flower!!!

Receiving this dunno should happy or angry! Sending this directly to my office.. really a bit embrassing ka.. luckly i'm not in. Due to away to Ipoh for client. I guess even worst.. coz whole company also know.. yet the talk wat also i dunno. Somemore the card so openly read. Haih~~..
Anyway, my heart really glad, happy and the anger also slowly dissappear. I'm touch with what you had done.. but heart pain with your action.. coz you spent the money!! heheheh..
Ok la,, this time forgiven.. but please remember this and please do not repeat! Love me more if can.. thanks.. heheheh.

Well, what i can say is.. thanks for all. i mean Thank God, coz He is the one behind all these! Also glad that you know how to make me happy/cheer me when i was down. Life not easy, especially this pathway. But i pray that we can select the easier way and walk together. Actually my heart pain ka when think back the bad side. But afterall, not really very big issues. Just that we really need to learn how to improve and change it ok? Mayb Lord be with us and guide us in this relationship!
Love you and thank you!!! :)

WOUND!

There are many kind of wounds.. some can be cure and some just last forever. I believe physical wound mostly can be cure, but the mentally & internal wound just hardly get cure! Life, just unpredictable... we don't even know what will happen next moment. I guess.. when you get hurt.. or the heart wound.. can't be cure that easily. Apart from that, it will also bring side effect. That will give great impact to you life!

WHat Is LIfE???... What Does Relationship MEans???... What a REAL FRiednship's Like???
WHAT A WORLD???!!!!

My "Packages Birthday, 2006"!!!

1. Celebration started on 20 Sept 2006, at Hong Kong with the HK-Aust 's frens. Venue: White Elephant Thai Restaurant, Mongkok
Peoples: Vonnie, Bronco, Andrew, Rebecca, Lap, my Dad & Mum, Tammy(Lap's sis) & ME!!!

2. Continue with my both sis in KL, Canjy & Carmen. With the arrival of Lap to Malaysia on the 26th Sept 2006. At the TGI FRIDAY, 1-Utama. Jia Yue, get to join in later for drinks and he bought me a cake. I was fool by the staff at TGI. Anyway it was Great! Enjoyed the time with my 2 little sis and they treat me late night show.. "ZOOM" at GSC, New Wing!

3. With the special treatment from Lap, taking the troubles, leaves and sacrisfied flying over all the way from HK to M'sia to celebrate my birthday. He brought me to Bukit Tinggi, French Village + Japanese Village.. " birthday package" , at relaxing place with Spa & massage! Of course with fine French Dining and favourite presents ( Nokia 6280, Justin Concert DVD & Swatch Diving Watch) on my Wonderful Day! We had great time and i really enjoyed the 2 days at Bkt. Tinggi. Thanks my darling, for everything you had done and prepare for me. I love it very much and happy for all. Love you always and thanks for the lovely time.

The Fine French Dining

The WONDERFUL JAPANESE SPA & MASSAGE!!!!

My WonDErFUL PRESENTS!!!

Busy Months, August to Sept!!!

During these 2 months i was so busy until no time to update or write anything in my blog! i hardly online to surf website. Only things i do is check company emails and busy dealing with all the overseas suppliers and clients. In the short period of 2 months i travel to HK & China 3 times. Nearly every 2 weeks. Quite tired and really crazy over all these.

Dealing the lifestyle is not that easy after the environment keep changing. The China side even worst where i so tired to keep meeting and rushing for the business matters. Hiah~` hopefully after the end of Oct or mid of Nov will be better. I know next month i will be travelling to China again for the World Exhibition! Really tired, but i gain lots experiences and learns things.

Pray that i will keen in this business and success in my career, plus future pathway! Thank You Lord for still giving me energy and guiding me through all these!