Figuring out..

Today finally i start my revision for my exam and really Thank God that i have good environment and manage to get something into my brain. I also realise myself talk a lot. how come i'm such talkertive, until i don't give chance ppl to talk and can't stop at all. So, i think i shouldn't talk so much but using this chance and this space to write down my words instead to speak it out. I realise no1 love to talk to me.. to listen to my talk. Even, the one close beside me complain about me, my family, my frens and just everyone! I think only GOD is the one keep on listen to me without complaints. Lord thanks a lot.. YOU are really a powerful one that always ready for the weak ppl. In this real life, ppl just look down on those who are weak and praise those who are strong! Lord, tell me.. talkertive or love to talk is my gift or my weakness? I know i need to learn to be listen.. i know that! So sometimes, i really hate myself when i just couldn't be patience or listen to ppl. I believe i love to talk is because i got no secure, and i wan ppl to understand me. It just a way for me to express my feelings and let ppl to hold me close. In other way, i might be selfish because i didn't ask whether the person want to listen or not.. or i just wan ppl to un me and without me understanding them. But Lord, help me.. teach me? What should i do? I felt better when i talk..if not, please show me other way to express myself.
Living in such realistic world is so hard, no matter how close or old fren will still complaints about u and ur weakness. I think close and old frens will point out ur weakness and keep on mentioning it rather than new fren. They just stereotype in their mind and make assumption that u will just be like that for the rest of ur life. This is so unfair for ppl who tried hard. I might haven;t tried hard.. but i'm trying. I just realise in life u really don; have second chance, which i believe ppl are deserve chances. Even we are always forgiven and chances given by GOD all the time, but why people just can't? Hiah~~ now i know, this is what they call sin. Human just human, we r just weak and small! I really wonder, how many of my old frens or close frens either in Malay or Melb will really think of me, look back what we had shared, have clear and sweet memories in mind and really take sometimes out from their busy life. Sit down, review back all the photos and recall some of the "good old days"! I do, and everytime the 1st day i went back my hometown in my room, looking back all the pics. I think it is so wonderful and precious! Well, I think God wan me to put down some past and ask me to keep on looking forward. arrr.. i dunno but, Lord i'll try and i know u will guide me through. Really thanks for giving me chance and brain to restore all my precious memories. I also know myself being too sensitives and emotionals. I dunno good or but, but certainly useful when i'm happy but terrible when i'm down. Anyway, Father please keep on look after everyone in this world and forgive all of us. Thank You and with the MIGHTY Jesus Christ! AMEN!