Back to lost Lilfe

This whole month i just keep on travelling and is like not stable.. being so busy and tired. Now i finally home to Taiping after staying in Lap's place in HK for a week. When i was HK i had great time where i can meet Grace, Vonnie and Rebecca. Especially we can go Sing-K, Steamboat, Took sticker-photo and lots more. I really miss you guys now as i return home already. Think of my Melbourne frens.. how's everyone who still in the "exam war"? I will pray for you guys! Add oil!!!
Since i back, i get so frustrated and things seem to be so differen to me. My relationship with my mum had changed! She treated me very cool and dislike me. I also very upset and tired, yet very busy... as one of the secretary will be leaving our company soon. Although i know there are many things i should learn and take over... but i really did nothing and feel those job doesn't suit me. I still wanna keep on travelling and miss Lap.

Haih~~ relationship with people and God also broke down. I became very superstitious and get influence by my family or people around me. I can't show them i live like, but yet follow the trend and get influenced! I really hate being that, in order wanna make my mum happy or agreed with the relationship... i was keen to ask about wat those "feng shui" ppl said. I really couldn't believe myself behaving in such irrational way. HOW??~~ my heart not just feel unpeace... yet became the old Canmy!!! A bad behaviour yet not a christian! I really very long didn't pray(serious one) and touch bible. I just like a very ignorance and rebellious child in God's eyes. AAAAAARrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............. please HELP ME!!!

I also feel myself so bitch in relationship... i'm a very greedy gal!!! Haih~~ i really dunno what i can say. When i feel lost and can see future.. i really feel unsecure i wanna hold on something that reliable or just wan someone can tell me the future... show me the direction! Lord please fogive me.. this usless and sinful person!!! :~~~((
ARRggghhh... sob sob...