Pitty Me!

I was very sad today, make myself feel like i lost dignity and don't have normal human value. These 2 months i was kind of tight for my financial, so i need to be very careful on my spending. So be4 i bought anything i would also think twice. Especially these days i went to library to study then, everyday also use money.. at least the parking! this really kills me. Anyway today i bought a drink due to i forget to bring water to uni. B4 i bought it, i really think i walk to shops instead of the vendor machine.. just to get a cheaper drinks. Then, i went lunch in the union house.. i put my drinks on the table just to book the seat and i went to get my lunch box from the microwave. Less than 30 sec, the celaner came by and he trow my drinks into the bin. then immediately i ran over n told him that, this i my drink n i just bought it. He is kind of impolite n loud.. that make everyone in that lounge look at me. Then i ask him.. is it ok if i wan back my drink from the rubbish bin. He picked it up from the rubbish bin.. and i really want that drink although it was dirty and full of the left over food over it. But i tot mayb i can just wash and then still can drink. But the man, ask me to wait. He went and get me a new one.. from a stall. I think he was very shock when i wan the dirty one.. that moments i really feel like crying..!! i just make myself so pittyful... and when i sat down n think over.. my tears drop by n make me figure how come.. i make myself into such stage! I really dislike my attitude and wondering how come i can't control myself properly? Haih~~ i already had very big problems of communications with frens.. somemore the culture gaps among frens here.. then lost in touch with fren back in Malay. I really dunno where i belongs. That moments i really hope i can have a shoulder for me to lean on i said "Is Ok My dear, I Understand!" i really hope someone could un me.. with the feeling of loving me. I believe LOrd Father will be the only one.. Thanks you Lord for giving me a new drink.. Altough just a drink,but u showed ur loves to me! Thanks You Lord and i believe.. all the struggle n probs i facing now.. u wan me to learn something. But Lord no matter what, please don;t leave me! All this in the name of Jesus Christ! AMEN!